Conflict Resolution Is The Bedrock Of Emotionally Connected Couples


In every relationship, every couple is bound to have one issue or the other. You cannot be emotionally available to your partner all the time. At one point, out of mindlessness you will miss your partner’s bids for connection, and this is where conflict resolution in marriage or relationship becomes necessary. But being not emotionally available all the time is indeed not the problem, even a mother who is not always responsive to her child can still bring up a child to become a healthy adult having a healthy relationship.

What is conflict resolution: Conflict resolution definition is a process whereby two or more parties resolve a dispute peacefully. Conflicts may happen between anyone, but our focus is conflict resolution in marriage or a relationship

The degree in which a parent builds a secure attachment bond with their child and how the parent corrects their errors determines how this child survives fluctuations and failures in their daily life. This is also applicable in our intimate relationships. The difference between unhappy couples and happy couples is simply how the happy couples have chosen to resolve conflicts.

Conflict Resolution Is The Key To Healthy Relationships

Conflicts are inevitable in relationships and no matter how careful you can be, you will certainly sever the intimacy in your relationship. Even in a healthy relationship, partners are likely to:

  • Say mean words to each other
  • Become defensive
  • Scream at each other  

The difference between healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships is that the healthy ones repair their interactions; they are willing to admit their mistakes when conflict arises so that they can heal up their bond. They get to know that their relationship is much more important than the conflict. The goal of conflict resolution is to understand the problem and how to ensure your next conversation is positive.

How can you make a Relationship Repair Effective?

Due to the facts that conflicts are threats to the bond between couples, once conflict erupts, your next move should be to repair the bond. Conflict resolution examples are: “I need a short break. Can we discuss this in thirty minutes?”  “I am sorry for saying that.”

Studies revealed that how you make a repair attempt during conflict resolution doesn’t really tell if the repair attempt would be effective or not. Some people would attempt to make a repair in a polite way and their partners wouldn’t just hear them out, while some others would just make it in a clumsy way and would be successful.

Friendship is Vital to Effective Repairs

The difference between couples who successfully repaired their bonds and those who did not was the emotional atmosphere between partners. Your repair attempt can only be successful if only you have been a good friend to your partner of late. This can only happen when you are kind towards your partner. If you understand each other properly, your relationship will scale through the inevitable conflicts that may try to come in.

If you have failed to build a good friendship in your relationship, then your repair attempts are more likely to fail. The quality of your friendship determines how your relationship is repaired when issues arise. Repairs don’t have to be complicated or well spoken before it can be effective. When couples have built a strong foundation, any genuine repair technique can work.

Principle of Repairs in Conflict Resolution

There are several conflict resolution strategies in making a repair anytime conflicts arise in a relationship.

Get to know your partner:

This includes knowing their likes and dislikes, goals, past, dreams, fears, values. This can only be achieved when partners communicate and ask questions (more open-ended) regularly.

Develop your affection and admiration:

Let your partner know that you admire them a lot and that you care so much about them. Appreciate them often and compliment how they look

Don’t turn away from each other’s bid for connection:

Be responsive and available to your partner both emotionally and physically. Hold hands. Make eye contact. Listen to each other’s needs. Ask for each other’s opinion etc.

Final Thoughts

Issues arise in all relationships, but what differentiates successful relationships from unsuccessful ones is the way they resolve these conflicts. You must know that your relationship is much more important than the conflict. Try to understand the problem and then make repair attempts.

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