why do people cheat

Why Do People Cheat? Reasons, Signs, & Solutions


Why do people cheat? This is the question you keep asking yourself whenever you are being cheated on. And why me? Most people still find it very hard to believe that someone they loved and trusted so much could betray them in a hurtful and shocking manner. You will not only be angry or upset, but the sense of believing in someone will no longer be there.

Why do people cheat? People cheat due to so many reasons such as neglect, lack of commitment, lack of love, anger, self-esteem, sexual desire, and some other situations. There are other reasons that could make a man or woman cheat

Why do people cheat is a common question, with different causes. It can be devastating whenever a partner cheats on you. You might even fall sick and have to visit a physician. The question that keeps coming to your mind is “why”? Cheating is not just a betrayal of trust, it is also a violation ethic.

The anxiety of an unexpected attraction can make a partner in a long period of relationship cheat. Cheating is one of the greatest deal-breaker in a relationship or marriage.

Why do People Cheat?

If you have been asking “why do people cheat” here are some of the reasons.


neglect - why do people cheat

This is when you begin to have this feeling that your partner no longer spends enough time with you, pay more attention to you, or that he no longer cares for your need. You begin to feel unappreciated in your relationship.

Lack of commitment

A lot of people in a relationship always say they don’t like to get too close to their partners. When it comes to commitment, most partners are exclusive to each other. Both of them can be in a relationship, but the commitment level is just too low.


There are situations that some people find themselves that can lead to them cheating on their partner. Perhaps when one is drunk, on vacation, or under a lot of pressure from the family, there are things that aren’t part of your schedule that you might want to explore.

Memorable events like 40th birthday can make people have a sexual urge and will like to seek the affair off with the opposite sex to seek meaning in their life as they approach a new phase of life.


Some people feel that it is only when they have sexual affairs with a partner their self-esteem or social status could be increased.


The moment you suspect a cheating partner or being betrayed by a friend, you get angry and will want to have an act of revenge.

Lack of love

reasons why people cheat

The big question why do people cheat? The absence of love in a relationship is a powerful motivation because it is one of the features that build a relationship. When you no longer have the passion for love or you begin to feel the relationship is now dull, stagnant, and boring.

Sexual desire

When you are no longer satisfied with your sexual life in your relationship, or your partner is not more interested in you and will want to try something new.

Why Do Men Cheat?

why do people cheat - why do men cheat?

There is this belief that people have, that cheating is easy. This saying is true. Some people always say men cheatbecause they can do such.  The thing is that men don’t cheat because they can, but men cheat because it’s part of them and it’s a must-do for them.

Cheating isn’t exclusive to men alone. As humans, we are all prone to cheating. But why do men cheat? Is it because they can or have the ability to cheat?

There are various reasons for infidelity and these vary according to situation, couple, or individual. A lot of factors influence man to cheat or prompt them to take such a decision.

Not all men and not every man is alike. Most times, women are being hunted with the question “why do men cheat in a relationship”? Is he cheating on me?

15 Reasons Why Men Cheat with possible Solutions

Lack of maturity

Generally, men will have a lot of reasons why they participate in extramarital affairs or cheat on their partners. Some men don’t invest much time and commitment in their relationship due to a lack of maturity.

This could lead to infidelity. Though not all men, but some of them do. Rather they choose to engage in events that are not important to their families or can damage their marital affairs.

Recklessness is a major characteristic of cheating men. As a man if you are presently thinking of whether to go into cheating, I want you to take your time and have a re-think, then ask yourself this question, “Is your relationship worth gambling with.

Men feel ashamed about their desire for pleasure

Why do men cheat? Shame can be the reason why most men cheat.

Emotional affairs in men could be the reason for some men cheating. This might sound funny or ironic because whenever people are caught cheating they always feel ashamed. The same way shame can be what triggers cheating in a relationship.

The common thing among most cheating men is shame. The more you get closer to your partner, the higher the level of intimacy. This high degree of intimacy can make it difficult for one to seek sexual desire from the partner.

The partner might not want to get the other person hurt.  Instead of having liberating and exciting sex at home, they prefer to go outside to avoid them getting rejected as a result of their sexual desires. This can lead to infidelity in a relationship. This answers the question why do men cheat?

Intimacy disorder

One of those things to watch out for when you suspect your partner is cheating. Intimacy issue is a major characteristics of a cheating partner. Intimacy issue is a reason why most men cheat, be it cheating in person with an online partner.

Most men don’t know how to seek intimacy in their relationship, even if they do, they don’t know how to do it in a way that the woman will feel the connection. That answers the question why do men cheat?

Men seek attention and love

Cheating sets in when men begin to feel unappreciated and unloved in a relationship. Most often, some couples become very busy that they have no time for themselves.

Most conversation between the couple is now based on logistics, “who is going for the groceries”, “Remember to sign the bank papers”, and “who is picking up the kids from school today”. Men always like to be cared for and shown love and attention.

Men cheat due to selfishness

On this planet earth, men cheat due to a lot of reasons. Some men feel trapped in their relationship and unhappy.

Men cheat due to lack of appreciation

Most men believe that since they work for their family, they should be appreciated. So when they aren’t appreciated after all the effort they have made to take care of their family, this can be a reason why married men cheat.

Men need their ego stroked

Why do married men cheat? Personal insecurity can be the reason why most men’s ego is being stroked. The moment their spouse laid a complaint about any issue, insecurity sets in and they start searching for another partner. Physical, he might appear secure and arrogant.

Sexual addiction

Why do married men cheat? There are several reasons why infidelity occurs in a relationship. Over the last two decades now, the rate at which men are becoming sexually addicted have increased drastically. Some men tend to misuse sex as a form of distraction from emotional trauma.

Men suffering from sex addiction often have a feeling of inferiority and weakness. Men who are opportune to get counseled for their sexual addiction have come to learn the reason behind their abuse of sex. With this, they begin to gain knowledge on how to connect emotionally with their wives. This helps to reduce the future occurrence of infidelity.

Men love adventure

Why do married men cheat on their spouses? Some men cheat as a means of escape from a daily routine like a dull weekend with kids, commute, and watching the Television set. They leave their responsibility, duties, and roles unattended to. This reveals why married men cheat.

Culture, value, and avoidance reasons

Infidelity is not determined by any factor. These three factors listed above walk hand in hand to tell if one can decide to cheat.

  • Value: if maintaining a marriage is an important value in a society, we will be willing and ready to make choices that will save your marriage and make it last long and forever.
  • Culture: In a society or family where infidelity is not kicked against, they will believe that cheating is a proper behavior.
  • Avoidance: the fear of not knowing what to do with our lives can affect the choice of our decision in life. These reasons explain why married men cheat.

They cheat anytime their wives are absent

Why do married men cheat? There are married men that engage in the cheating act when their partner is not available to them. Others cheat on their wives due to reproductive challenges.

Some men cheat due to lack of admiration

There are relationships that lack companionship, which could bring about the absence of admiration and approval by their spouse. If he is faced with disappointment, disapproval, and disdain in their home, they tend to hide such feelings from their partner.

The moment an outsider counteracts such feelings within the man and sees the man from a different perspective, this draws the man’s attention towards that person. It is difficult to resist yourself form an environment where you are always admired.

Men cheat when they feel their woman is unhappy

Most men like to make their women happy. When they feel their effort to do such is no longer appreciated, they feel bad and begin to seek the attention outside the marriage or relationship.

Men cheat when they can’t connect with themselves

Another reason is when men can’t connect emotionally with their spouse. They begin to struggle with the idea of being worthy and will always go after what is not achievable.

Men cheat when they feel unacknowledged

The one common thing could lead to why people cheat is when they aren’t properly taken care of and not appreciated. In a relationship, some people feel that they do the bulk work about the relationship and that work isn’t appreciated or rewarded.

When we feel that in any relationship, our effort is not being acknowledged, we begin to look outside. The newly found lover now gives you the focus that is lacking in your relationship.

Why do Married Men Cheat?

There are several reasons why married men cheat? Do all men cheat? Above 50% of the couple is suffering from infidelity. One common thing that triggers married men to cheat is frustration. Generally, everyone believes that it takes two to tango. The following factors can lead to infidelity in marriage or relationships.


Addiction to substances such as alcohol, gambling, drugs, and other things are factors that can lead married men to cheat. Particularly, alcohol can increase the urge for sex in a person.

Exposure to infidelity in childhood:

Past experience with cheating can also increase the chances of infidelity. A study has shown that children being raised by a parent having an external affair, is likely to have such too in the future.

Attachment style:

some lifestyles such as intimacy disorder, insecurity have observed to be part of the reason why people cheat. Poor self-esteem has also helped to answer the question of why people cheat.

Childhood trauma:

when a person has previous experience of childhood trauma such as sexual, emotional abuse, physical, or neglect. There are higher chances of such a person cheating in a relationship or marriage, that’s if the person hasn’t seen a counselor yet.

Mental illness:

Bipolar disorder is a risk factor for infidelity in a relationship or marriage.

Psychological issues:

highly self-centered people suffers from such a problem and can lead to men cheating in a relationship.

Sex addiction:

When one partner is highly addicted to sex, there is every possibility that the unsatisfied partner will always look outside or elsewhere.


why do married men cheat

if one partner has been offended in some way, the other partner might want to revenge and this can result in cheating. All these answers the question of why do people cheat.


The period of absence by one partner in a relationship, either due to work could lead to cheating Working in the military provides better opportunities for cheating to occur. This can be as a result of resentment or loneliness. This reason, long-distance relationship or marriage isn’t advisable. Though there are ways you can keep your marriage strong even while apart.


This has been a chance for some men to cheat. Pornography is very dangerous most especially to married people. It saddening these days the way people can now easily access pornography on the internet.

Do All Men Cheat?

Not all men cheat, but quite a few of them cheat.  Some believe that after the arrival of a baby in the relationship, the sex fell and they no longer enjoy it as before. Or they have found somebody that is better looking than their woman, or some younger or richer. They now tend to enjoy sex more with the new person than they do with their wife.

As a couple, if your husband calls to inform you that he will be working late in the office. There is a 95% possibility that he is much occupied with the office job. All men are working hard to make sure that their marriage is a success.

It is only first-class men that don’t cheat. Some men are incredibly lazy. Some men can seat on the couch and watch a movie all day tossing from one end to the other. When a man wants to engage in cheating, it can be very stressful and tiring. They will need to book a hotel, go for dinners, engage in conversations, and sometimes even engage in traveling.

So, for some married men, all these activities can be life-threatening which can even alter the performance of their nervous system. So many older men wouldn’t think of engaging in such. It can be too exhausting. Some men don’t cheat because of the consequences. Cheating husband cheats on their wives if they know they can get away with it.

A cheating husband will get caught since they will be spending too many late nights outside their matrimonial home. For older men that aren’t organized and tend to forget things easily knows that they will get caught and they aren’t ready to face the consequences attached to cheating. They wouldn’t want to, but if they could, they will. All these answers the question of why do people cheat and also do all men cheat.

Signs Your Husband is Cheating

Have you been having sleepless nights due to your husband’s behavior lately? There are lots of signs you see to make you know your husband or your partner is cheating on you. This article provides information on how to know if your husband is a cheater.

21 Signs your husband is Cheating.

  • He tends to spend more time on his phone than he usually does daily. The time he spends on his phone whenever he is at home will make you know he is hiding something.
  • He restricts your access to his phone. Husbands that are very secretive tend to lock their phone with a passcode just to keep things hidden from their wives. This is a big sign your partner is cheating.
  • Most time you catch him smiling and whispering on his phone. Your suspicion is right if you have ever caught your partner smiling and whispering on his phone whenever you are around.
  • The rate at which he keeps giving excuses increases daily.  For every mistake made, he acts like he is the only victim and he starts making an unnecessary excuse.
  • He blames his boss for every late-night outside his home. A cheating husband will always cast the blame on his boss and traffic each time he returns late. There is an app to set a boundary within his location. The app gives you signal immediately he crosses such boundary.
  • His call log is always cleared every time. Most cheating husbands prefer clearing their call log rather than going through the stress of explaining to their wives who they spend hours talking to on phone.
  • Cheating husbands have more than one social media account. This is also one of the signs your husband is cheating.
  • One of the signs your husband is cheating is when the physical and emotional intimacy is reduced. Cheating husband tends to distance himself from his wife or partner. The physical and emotional intimacy is no longer as strong as before. You have to sit him down and talk things out. The earlier the better.
  • A cheating husband doesn’t keep text messages on his phone. His sent items and inbox is always empty.
  • For no reason, he will always want to fight with you. A cheating husband will just keep mute from engaging in conversation with his wife or partner for no reason.
  • Whenever a cheating husband returns from an outing, he begins to smell different.
  • It can backfire if you decide to confront him. To confront a cheating husband successfully, you will have to monitor his phone activities to have a solid and a firm argument.
  • A cheating husband avoids every communication with his wife they now act like strangers in their home.
  • His behavior changes either he is now too nice or hostile. A cheating husband acts too cool and sweet to hide his guilt. Also one of the great signs your husband is cheating.
  • He talks frequently about another woman. If your husband thought if often occupied with another woman to the extent that he can’t stop talking about her.
  • He accuses you of cheating. He frequently accuses you of cheating. Some men decide to cheat because they are scared of being cheated on by their partner. This can be traced down to the fear of being abandoned or insecurities.
  • He showers you with gifts. He begins to flood you with random presents. The guilt within a cheating man can make them extends more care to their spouse
  • He suddenly begins to look different from the usual. When he begins to lay more emphasis on his way of feeding, his look, and spend more time at the gym. There is a possibility he is seeing another woman.
  • He begins to respond to your question with a one-word answer. When you begin to feel a break in your way of communication. This can as well be a sign of cheating
  • He is spending a lot lately. The credit bill increases drastically not because he switched from one vendor to another, but because he is now showering the new woman with exotic gifts or presents.

Why Women Cheat?

Why women cheat is a common question. Most of the reasons why men cheat are also the reasons why women cheat. There is only a narrow difference between men and women cheating. Some cheating women act has to do with their sexual motivation.

A lot of people assume that men are more likely to cheat. But this assumption is gradually becoming untrue as women begin to indulge in the act of cheating. According to tradition, it is believed that men are susceptible to cheating because of their sexual urge, while women are likely to cheat because they are no longer happy with the relationship.

In the previous generation, men were known to cheat more than women, but in the present time, women and men cheating runs at the same rate. Cheating women think that if they continue living without their sexual needs being attended to they might end up breaking their partner’s or their husband’s heart.

This can even lead to them breaking up their family apart. After several years of trying to make things work out well in their relationship or marriage without a positive result, they decide to look outside their relationship.

Cheating women may experience dissatisfaction in their relationship or marriage. When a woman is in a trapped relationship, they can decide to blow it up by cheating. Often, they can be with a caring partner, but a domineering type, unavailable emotionally, and very jealous.

Some other ladies and women have good men as boyfriends and husbands, and are well taken care of, but they are simply greedy. They are ready to jump on any man’s bed if he has some cash for her. This category of women is becoming rampant in our society today. Some just have the cheating spirit in them, as I have seen cases where everything goes perfectly well in their marriage or relationship, but still she sleeps with different men.

Also read: Seven ways to avoid cheating in a romantic relationship

Important signs to watch out for in cheating women

If your question is why do people cheat? or better still why do women cheat? Below are some signs to watch out for:

why do people cheat - cheating women
  • Cheating women are always very secretive and protective of their phones.
  • The cheating women spend more money than usual and often withdraw from the ATM.
  • Cheating women spend most of their time daily outside their home.
  • Cheating women are always wacky with their phone (they will password their phone and go about with the phone even while in the bathroom).
  • Why women cheat? Sex-addicted women are susceptible to cheat on their partner. Military women have the highest rate of cheating women. They feel they are emotionally lonely when they are away from home due to work. For these reasons, they tend to seek companionship and little romance in the arms of another man.

Related Questions

What could I have done to make him cheat on me?  You haven’t done anything wrong that could have made him cheat. A partner should learn how to manage his unhappiness even when you feel you are with the most terrible partner on earth. Not knowing how to deal with such feelings can make a partner unfaithful in a relationship. Any relationship or marriage that begins with infidelity isn’t advisable to continue with such.

Do I need to inform my kids? Discussing a parent’s sexual infidelity with teens or kids is not proper at all. It can cause more damage if the kids are angry with one parent. This anger can last longer than you can ever imagine. But when the kids are angry at both parents, it doesn’t take them a long time to come out of it. While staying together, make an effort to show the kids that you both are trying to work things out.

Do I need to tell my friends? Before you go about discussing such with friends, ask yourself what could be your reason for telling them. Is to gain support, humiliate, or hurt your partner. If what you have in mind is just to have revenge, learn to zip your mouth. You will have some explanation to give about gossiping to your friends the moment you guys are back together. I know you will be needing support to go through a moment like this, the best place to seek for such is seeing a therapist or a counselor, not going to your friends and making your partner the subject of discussion.

Final Thoughts                  

It is sad and disappointing when you discover your partner is cheating on you. There is a possibility of you not seeing signs that your partner is cheating on you. As difficult as this might be, an affair outside the relationship doesn’t mean that your marriage has come to an end.

If your partner is truly sorry about their actions and ready to put an end to such a relationship, you too can work together to bring something tangible out of your relationship.

They should be willing and ready to take responsibility for their actions. By this, you have the best opportunity to make things work out again. We hope we have answered the question: Why do people cheat?

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